Ask a Therapist: How Do I Stop Lashing Out at My Wife?

Many of our deepest fears, insecurities, and doubts become evident in our interactions with our partners.

By Amy Morin, LCSW, Editor-in-Chief Top of Mind Ask a Therapist: How Do I Stop Lashing Out at My Wife? Many of our deepest fears, insecurities, and doubts become evident in our interactions with our partners.   We often look to our partners to confirm our beliefs. If we believe we aren't good enough, we look for evidence that we don't measure up. Every conversation, glance, and text message might help us solidify this belief.   If we believe our partner is going to abandon us, we become suspicious of their every move. Sometimes, our behavior pushes them away and turns our fear into a self-fulfilling prophecy.    In this week's Ask a Therapist, I respond to a reader who lashes out at his wife when he feels criticized. His response likely speaks volumes about how he feels about himself.    Fortunately, he can learn to change his behavior and chip away at some of those underlying beliefs that might not be serving him well.    Here's this week's question:    When my wife asks me to do something I don't want to do or when she gives me constructive criticism, I turn things around on her. I say things I don't mean. I always apologize later but I know I hurt her feelings and I know I'm damaging our relationship. How do I stop doing this to her?                                                    —Craig, 32 Check out my answer here. Have a Question for Me?   Every other week, I answer reader questions about psychology, therapy, social situations, and mental health issues. If you have a question you'd like me to consider, submit it here. Read These Next Why Do Some People Have a Fear of Intimacy? READ NOW Warning Signs You May Be Sabotaging a Good Thing READ NOW How to Stop Being Codependent READ NOW Spread the Light Share the newsletter with someone you know to make their day a little brighter. SHARE We're open to suggestions! If you have any feedback about this newsletter, let us know at feedback@verywell.com.     You are receiving this newsletter because you subscribed to the Healthy Mind newsletter. If you wish to unsubscribe, please click here. If someone forwarded you this email, you can subscribe here!   A DOTDASH BRAND 28 Liberty Street, 7th Floor, New York, NY, 10005   © 2021 Verywellmind.com - All rights reserved. Privacy Policy