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 | Probably my favorite thing about sex is getting to have it. A close second is talking about it (being completely honest: if I were to stack my best sex conversations against my worst sex, or even the kind of middling sex I’ve had too much of, there’d be no contest; the sex talk would win). I love talking about sex because of the way it opens people up and lets you feel a kind of spark and connection that I find rare amongst the guarded humans. I know of no better way to get to know someone than to hear them talk about sex.
If I had to pick a favorite way to talk about sex, ethics would be one of them. Ethics isn’t a path to universal answers it’s a way of digging deep into a topic and how we feel about it. Ethics requires that you think hard and take some sort of position. But it allows us to occupy different patches of ground, just so long as we take responsibility for looking closely at the ground beneath our feet and take the time to describe it to others.
Over the years I've received questions that seem particularly ripe for ethical discussion. Here are some of my favorites. ~ Cory | | Disclosing Your Sexual Past: If They Don't Ask, Do You Tell?
I’m dating a girl I’m really into and think it could be serious. We’ve started talking about our sexual pasts and I almost told her about a few drunken fooling around situations with other guys. I’ve never told any of my girlfriends about it, but I’ve also never been this serious about a girlfriend before. The problem is that I know her family is super religious and I think she might freak out. If I think she might be the one, is it wrong for me not to tell?
| Buying Sex Toys for Teens
I watched the episode of Oprah where she had a doctor on who recommended buying vibrators for your teenager. I have several vibrators myself and I had never thought about it before, but I have a teenage daughter and would have no problem getting her one. But I'm not sure what she'd think about it. Also, I’m divorced and I know my ex would completely disapprove. I could really use your advice.
| Hearing Your Parents Having Sex
I am 26 years old and a single mother of a four and a half-year-old son. Because of special circumstances my parents asked me to move back home to help them out with their mortgage. So as the good daughter that I consider myself to be, I agreed. Now I know that sex is good, natural, and that no matter what age you are everyone is entitled to enjoy it...but these are MY parents, and I don't want to hear them doing it. What can I do? Is it ok if I tell my parents that we can hear them? Luckily my son has not been awake to hear them but what am I going to say to him the day he does? To make matters worse my grandmother is visiting! If we can hear my mother I am absolutely sure she can hear them!
| Disclosing Herpes to a Sexual Partner
I have herpes and when I found out basically all my doctor told me was that I have to watch for flare ups, and tell sexual partners. But I don’t know when. At what point do I have to disclose to a potential partner? Is it even an issue if I’m not having a flare up and if I’m using condoms?
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