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 | What exactly does it mean to say that a particular sex toy is a "gay sex toy" or "good for women"? For marketers it's a short form that relies on gender binaries and static identity constructions of sexual orientation. But try as we might, we aren't just consuming machines, passively moving our way through a series of options presented to us by manufacturers and retailers. We are individuals in community, and even if we use the same words to describe ourselves or our communities it never really translates to sameness in our sexual lives. Sex and identity is complicated for sure. Leaving it to others to define what our sex lives should or will look like may be less complicated, but it's also a lot less satisfying. I promise, I tried it for years. ~ Cory | |
Label Jars, Not Sex Toys
I'm always a bit puzzled by sex shops that have sections for "gay sex toys" or "lesbian sex toys" or even "couples sex toys". How the hell do they know what any given person or couple is looking for in a sex toy? They may be trying to be helpful (or more likely, just trying to make it easier for you to buy stuff) but it seems like it adds to the general confusion about the relationship between what sexy things we like to do, and who we like to do them with. Two very different questions.
| Sexual Orientation Confusion
There's so much pressure to present yourself in public as having one sexual orientation. And with a few neighborhood exceptions, the pressure is to present yourself as heterosexual. But privately many of us have questions and some confusion about sexual desire and what it does or doesn't say about sexual orientation.
| Does Anal Sex Make Me Gay?
I'll save you a click, the answer is no. (but you may want to click anyway, if you're not sure why).
| How Do You Describe Sex?
If someone asked you what sex feels like how would you answer? Would you focus on the physical sensations? The thoughts? The feelings? And which part of sex would you describe? Help me help someone who has never had sex, and offer your description in 100 words or less.
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