srijeda, 17. ožujka 2010.

About Sexuality: What's Casual About Casual Sex?

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From Cory Silverberg, your Guide to Sexuality
Two people who don't know each hook up and have sex. In the moment, both people consider the sex they're having to be casual sex. Sometime after the sex, one of them identifies it as something else, something more or less,. Was the sex still casual sex? Who gets to define what is and isn't casual sex? For that matter, is sex ever really casual? If by casual we mean by chance or without design or premeditation, have you ever had sex that you absolutely didn't want or plan ahead of time? If by casual we mean lack of interest, wouldn't that define a lot of sex people have in committed relationships? Can you have casual sex with someone you've had non-casual sex with? Is it possible to make a meaningful statement about casual sex and not just end every sentence with an annoying question mark? Read on and find out. ~ Cory

What's Casual About Casual Sex?
Chance encounters, one-night stands, hook ups, anonymous sex, meaningless sex, friends with benefits, booty call, the zipless fuck. All of these are terms people have used to describe what researchers and an increasing number of media pop psychologists call casual sex. The terminology has changed over time, but one might argue that our fascination with casual sex has never wavered. With so many terms, what exactly do we mean when we talk about casual sex?

Sex Tip - Making Sex Communication Casual
There's one element of sex that I wish we were all more casual about; talking about sex. Honest conversations about sex can feel difficult or awkward in part because they are so rare. My life is made much easier by the fact that I talk about sex every day. I talk about sex with family, with partners, with co-workers, and this means that when I have to bring up a sexual concern or want to make a sexual request, it feels less out of character or out of bounds. This week's sex tip is all about making sex an okay topic for daily conversation.

Other Sexual Lies
What is so frustrating for me about talking about casual sex is how much of a disconnect there is between the public discourse on casual sex and the individual experiences people relate to me when they talk about what they call casual sex. When I say that we're lied to about sex I don't mean that people are intentionally misleading us (although sometimes they are). I mean that what we're told about sex often bares little resemblance to our lived experience of sex. Here are a few other examples of the lies we're told about sex.

CNBC Confuses Porn Actors with Little Children
I'm sure they didn't mean it, but the condescension dripping off the CNBC reporter covering porn star retirement plans read more like a See Dick Run story than a See What Dick Can Do for You story.

 


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This newsletter is written by:
Cory Silverberg
Sexuality Guide
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