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 | In 1991 writer and performance artist Cheryl Marie Wade wrote an article called "It Ain't Exactly Sexy" that was published in a popular disability rights magazine called The Ragged Edge. It's a loud, blunt, and incisive critique of how we talk about private things, and it's the first thing I think about when I get a question about having an "accident" during sex. Wade believes we need to get rid of euphemistic language that keeps us both ashamed and ignorant. She was writing for a specific audience, but her words and perspective is of value to everyone. As she says, this may not be a sexy topic, but the only way we can redefine sexy is to start packing more into it. ~ Cory | |
Bowel Movement During Sex
The subject of bowel movements and bladder control during sex is one that most people avoid discussing at all costs. The cycle of silence and shame is one with tight turns and few ways out. For some, dealing with the embarrassment and shame is the only place to start.
| Talking Sh*t About Sex
Where do you start a conversation about losing control of your bowel or bladder during sex? Those who think that urine and feces are sexy probably already have some ideas on this, but for most people, taboos about bodily fluids - combined with restrictive ideas about what is sex and what is sexy - can make a conversation about bowel and bladder control during sex seem painful to the point of impossible.
| Dealing with a Silent Partner
My partner makes absolutely no noise during sex, she's completely silent. I take it as a sign that there's something wrong with what I'm doing. I need help figuring out how to talk to her about it, and how to please her more, because she's obviously unsatisfied. My response
| Reader Stories: Dealing with Sexual Embarrassmen
Sexual embarrassment is inevitable in life. Sex may be many things, but in real life, it's never the beautifully lit, seamless series of movements we see in the movies. It's something we all experience, but silence around sex often makes embarrassment worse by letting us feel like we're the only ones. Share your stories and take comfort in the stories of others.
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