| The details and specifics of how we explore (a thing, a place, a person, a body) matter. You can touch too much, too soon, too hard. You can barge into a conversation without sitting back and getting a feel for what's going on. You can leave marks where no marks were, and no marks were desired. But just as important as what we do in the course of exploration, is our intent. If you want to find out something new, whether it's about yourself, someone else, or a whole group of people; ask yourself, are you going in as an explorer, for the sake of learning and growing, or are you going in as a colonizer, expecting to plant a flag, discover beauty and then take it all for yourself? The legacy of colonialism, which is all around us and within us, matters to our sex lives. Politically there's always so much to say about this. But personally, when I'm trying to offer help or support to an individual, I just want to say, take it easy. You don't need to own something to love it and learn from it, and everything about sex is bigger than you are, so conquering is the absolutely wrong metaphor. ~ Cory |
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